Missed Opportunities

Miss You Lots Mom!!

My mom passed away 3 years ago and sometimes I find myself getting ready to call her to tell her something that happened in my life and then I realize I can not.  I know she is gone but sometimes it seems like she is still here.  It doesn't seem real that she has left this earth.  I miss her.  She was 84 and up till she turned 80 she was doing pretty well considering all the health problems she had.  

She was living with my sister, Carol, in Spokane, Washington,  My sister and her family helped my Mom out with her health and doctor care and in turn gave my sister help here and there with finances and companionship.  My Mom liked being where family was so that she was not alone.  She would come visit me also.  Those were great times!!! 

After she passed away we went through all the things she left behind.  She had quite a bit of stuff in storage.  My sister knew where it all was but I really didn't see everything she had, but I didn't mind because my sister was the one who took care of my Mom for years and years.  She is the one who went above and beyond -- taking care of my Mom.  Anyway, my sister gave me a few of Mom's things that I love and want to pass on to my kids.  The most amazing things that we did find were letters and photos that we had never seen.  My Mom never shared anything about all of the letters and photos she possessed.  Maybe she did at one time when I was a teenager and I had the attitude of no interest. She had boxes and boxes of letters and photos.  My brother, sister and I went through them and divided them up.  

I am now slowly going through the photos and trying to figure out who is who in these old photos.  I wished I had spent time with my Mom getting her to write down who were in those photos.  Why did I not care back then?  Why was I not interested in my Mom's life?  Why was my Mom not interested in telling me she had all these photos and letters?  Why was my Mom not very talkative about her life?  Why didn't I try to get to know her more?  Why didn't I want to get her to talk more about her life?  My Mom was very reserved in talking about her life. But she was also very negative about her divorce and her growing up years.  She focused on all the negatives about her life, so sometimes I just didn't want her to talk about it.  But now, that I have all these photos and letters, that I never knew existed, I want to know more.  If I had known about this stuff, I would have spent time getting her to write down who was who in the photos. I would have talked to her about her life, her family's life, her adventures, her interests back then, her boyfriends, her school times, everything!.  I missed it!!  I want to know who my Mom's family was, my grandfather, my grandmother and their families. I don't know, my sister and brother don't know.  I missed a great opportunity getting to know about my Mother's family!!  So very sad!!

The only thing I can do now is try to talk to anyone who is still alive that is related to my Mom.  I might be able to send some of the pictures to any relatives living that might now who is in the photos. That will be quite a project.  

Lessons learned in Life----everything is not always as it seems.  Time is fleeting and you might not always be able to do everything you want to----but do what you can with what you have left.  I have some of the photos and letters and my sister and brother have the rest so I can at least try to get to know my Mom better with what I have left.  

My Mom and her cousin Dorothy ( I think).

At least, that is what is written at the bottom. 

Such a cute photo of them holding bunnies.

I do know this is my Uncle Harold and my Uncle Bill with my mom in this photo. I love the bomber hats they are wearing. ( I think that is what they are called)  1930's

This is my grandfather James (not sure right now- he died after I turned a year old) I need to go to some files to find out his name. So sad I can't think of it right at this moment!!! My mom looks to be about 1 year and a half.  Wow---the car behind them.. Cool!

(Right at this moment my laptop is falling apart.  I need to go buy a new computer because mine is about 8 years old.  If I move it at all it will not work.  I have to have it just right or I can not make the mouse work. And then I can not type!!!!! So that is why I can not go find the file of my grandfather's name at this moment--lol)

This is an awesome photo because it has all of my mom's brothers in it!!!  My mom never had a sister.  Her oldest brother is James, then Harold, then Bill and then her.  I think it goes James on the far right, then Harold at the top, then Bill next to my mom and then my cute mom holding the rose.  Love this photo!!!!

I hope that I will keep writing in these blogs every Sunday or more if I have time.  There is so much I want to write about. My mom's life as much as I can with what I have and then on to my childhood. As much as I can remember.  I have a lot of blocks of time that I do not remember.  My mind is blank about a lot of my childhood.  There are years that I do not remember.  I think that is because of stress, moving so much and some trauma that happened during my childhood.  But I will get to that as I write more.  

Life Is Beautiful!!