More Photo's of Mom

More Photos of Mom

I was able to scan a lot of more pictures today.  So thankful that my computer is working correctly, at least, for now.  Yeah!!!

I love this picture of me and mom, because it looks like a halo is around her...

These two photos were taken when mom came to visit--I think--in 2010.  It was one of her last trips to Utah.  She enjoyed going up to Provo Canyon.  This was near Cascade Springs. So beautiful up there.  We had a wonderful time. 

Here are some photos of my mom, her family and friends back around the 1940"s..

Love the old cameras they are holding.  Again, wish there was something written on this photo.  But it looks like she was at a military post or something.  I have another one.

This picture is of Uncle Bill.  I only know this because of all the pictures I have seen of him.  I think the man next to him is his grandfather on his mom's side.

Wish I knew where this house is in Kelso,WA.  Someday, Ahh, it might not be there anymore.

This might be a picture of my Grandfather on the railroad.

My mom has a lot of names on the back of this photo. I think it is her graduating class of 1942.

Mom and Uncle Bill

Mom talked about Aunt Tina once in awhile.  She said that Michelle, my daughter, reminded her of Aunt Tina.  She said she was not very tall, firery, headstrong and full of vigor---like Michelle..

Sunday Best?  Awesome photo...

My mom, her brothers and friends or cousins.

I love this photo because of the black leather and boots. Are they bomber jackets?  Don't know who these kids are either.  Maybe her brothers when they were teenagers.  

Uncle Harold, Mom and (Uncle Bill?)

Lots of photo's.  I'm glad she kept them and I hope that I can pass these on to my children and grandchildren.  The 1940's seem so long ago by the way these photo's look.  Such hard workers and they seem to have hardly had anything. But it these photo's they had family and friends and it seems like that is all that mattered. 

Quotes

Q U O T E S

I love quotes.  They motivate me, they move me and I wish I could think up great quotes.  Quotes that inspire are my favorites.  I am watching a series called Criminal Minds and every episode starts and ends with quotes.  I like almost every one.  The quote above was used in one of their episodes and Winston Churchill hit it right on the mark about your life.  

That is what I am trying to do about my life.  I am going back to find out all I can to understand why I am who I am now.  I believe this quote.

Like I wrote in an earlier blog about my sister, brother and me--I am surprised that we are not messed up more then we already are.  We went through so much and I am surprised we are even alive also.

I am going to have to start working every other Saturday again starting in the middle of April, so I hope that I will keep doing my blog.  This was my new year's resolution to try and keep a blog for the whole year, and to write it every Sunday, if I could.  I am working on it. But with me going back to every other Saturday is going to make it even harder to keep up,  Especially when my computer is starting to break down.  I really need to make a decision and buy a new one.  Just got to get myself over to Best Buy.  Hey, this laptop has lasted over 8 years.  That's pretty good.

I am kind of sad I have to go back to working every other Saturday but then at the same time I am glad I can make extra money.  We really need it.  Rod doesn't believe me (OR Chooses Not To) that his cigarette smoking is costing him over $400.00 a month. I even tried to show him on paper. Refuses to believe me.  I guess he is the type of person that ---who doesn't see it--doesn't believe it--or if he chooses not to believe it --it doesn't exist..  Crazy to me.  Anyway, that is another reason why I need to work extra.  When will he quit????

I need to scan more pictures of my Mom's and Dad's earlier lives.  I need to go through some more of the pictures.  I do know that after my mom graduated she moved to California.  She went with a friend of hers but as of now I can not remember her friends name.  She lived the fun life of Cali--beaches, partying, single life, movie stars, etc.  Like I mentioned before, she never really talked that much about it.  I know she worked there for quite awhile as a telephone dispatch operator.  I have a picture of her doing that somewhere.  She did tell me that she dated Charlie Chaplin's son once.  I think she had quite a lot of fun because she didn't get married until she turned 30..  Or she just didn't find the right guy to marry.  I know she had very low self-esteem because that is one thing she talked about a lot.  

 Maybe realizing I did not have the greatest of childhood is a good thing?  I do not know but I would like to think it is.  Another great quote,....  I know my mom did not do this.  She was stuck in a rut and would absolutely not pull herself out.  She drew inwards after losing her child, Linda, after her divorce, after learning her husband was a cheater and most of all losing us three kids for three years to her brother and sister-in-law. (court ordered)  All these things added up to so much that she just got so depressed.  Wouldn't anyone?  I just wish she would have sought out help.  My mom did the best she knew how. I was used to her negativity and her depression, I didn't know anything else.  If she was ever happy I very rarely saw it.  

I think that the reason I am going as far back as I can remember, with my life history, the more I will understand about me.  I think that is why I like Criminal Minds so much because they profile people in their show and I find it very intriguing how they can figure out people by the way they live their lives or by their character.  Maybe I can figure out me by the way I was raised or how I lived growing up...It's a start.......

BELIEVE.....

We have all these things in our lives to give us have more time in a day, but it seems to me that all the things we do have make our lives--even busier then they were before.  All the electronic gadgets, cell phones, computers, ipads, etc....., seem to just keep us busier and busier instead of having more free time.  Everyone is playing on their cell phones with games, texting and instagram.  It is just crazy to me.  I even play too many games on my phone.  

The last few weeks I just couldn't make time to write in my blog because so much was going on. There really never seems like enough time to do the things I want to do.

For the last few weeks we have been doing a mail count at my work and that is keeping me busy and worried, because I don't want my route to go down.  It seems it is headed that way anyway.  We usually have mail counts every year and I haven't done one on my route for two years because the last time I did do one--my route went down 4 hours a week and that is a whole lot of money to lose...I sure hope it doesn't go down again! Will know this week..

I want to get back to writing my family history (that I remember) but I just haven't felt up to it.  Been kind of depressed about things so just not motivated. But I will get back to it soon,

I am trying to get back into running again.  I have been out of it for years and years. 10 years or more!  So many things caused me to leave running but now I want to try it again.  To get me motivated I entered a race in September, called the Huntsville Half-marathon.  So that should get me up and running... Ha Ha.... Anyway, I have been out and running... A little bit at a time.  

There is always so much to do...  Work, housework, keeping up with family (especially when most of them live so far away), dinners, lunches, yard work, etc....  I guess I should count my blessings that I do have things to keep me busy.  

It has been the warmest winter I ever remember here in Utah.  We have hardly had any snow and most of the days have been in the 40's.  Just so weird to me.

I do have a lot of things to be thankful for. I usually think about the things I don't have and I am trying very hard not to do that as much as I can.  I do not have a lot of things but I do have more then some people.  I grew up with very little in material things but I did not grow up in the ghetto or the projects.  I have had a good job for over 20 years, even though I have very little in savings.  That will change.  It seems I have had to fight for everything in my life.  Maybe that is why I try hard not to take everything for granted.  I got to admit that in my 20's I got jaded and I was angry about my life. I was hard on my family and not nice to them at times.  It is interesting that the things in my 20's and 30's that made me angry, judgmental and opinionated do not cause those feelings in me now.  Well, most of the time I am not upset about most things anymore like I used to be.  I don't know if that is because of hormones or immaturity or both..... ha ha.  But I just don't get as upset at things like I used to..  

About 5 years before my divorce I found out I was hypothyroid and it has messed up my hormones something fierce.  It has made me extremely tired, sensitive to cold, hair loss, gaining weight and a whole lot of more symptoms.  I was put on Levox (synthyroid) medicine. It helped me somewhat but now that over 15 years have gone by--I still have some of the symptoms.  I am trying to learn all I can about this auto-immune disease to help me become symptom free.  But it is a long process.  I wonder if this caused me to be so upset all those years ago.  

It is funny that I have so many, many things I want to write about.  While I deliver the mail, I think about all the things I could write about. But when I get here I just don't know where to start.  I want to write about my daily things that happen, I want to write about my Mom and Dad, I want to write about my childhood, and my children and their lives.  Like everything else in this life---one step at a time.....  

Better Days

"Better Days"

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I listened to these lyrics this week while I was working and I really liked them.  They are so simple but impacting to me.  I usually don't want a whole lot of things, I do try to live as simple as I can.  Yes, I do have a smart phone, cable, a TV and a pretty nice car (even though it is over 10 years old).  But I don't have my nails done or buy designer clothes or even have new clothes all the time.  For one thing can't afford it and really-- if I did have the money I probably wouldn't spend it on that stuff anyway.. I think I was born with this innate desire to not want a whole lot of things which I am very thankful for because I did grow up so poor and I still don't have a whole lot of money now...  

I have been going through some more of my Mom's photos again and trying to place the dates and the people in them.  When I see someone's face and my mom does have a name on the photo it helps so much when I might see them again or someone who looks like them.  

I remember my Mom telling me that after my Moms' mom gave birth to her sister that she died in the hospital.  My Mom's mom (I think her name is Barbra) had already had James, Harold, Bill and her.  My Mom told me this story that she heard about her Dad when her Mom died in the hospital. When he found out she had died while giving birth that he ran into the room and grabbed one of the knifes on the table and went after the doctor. She never did find out if the story was true or not but she believed it because he had an awful temper. What a crazy story and no-- he never did hurt the doctor, as far as I know.

I sometimes think about how hard it must have been for my mom and her four brothers to lose their Mother and then to lose their Dad to the work of the railroad.  To have to go live with their Mom's--Mom and Dad--must have been so difficult. And the fact that this was during the recession.  My Mom told me that they didn't even have a bathroom in their house they had to go use the outhouse that was behind their house.  She grew up in rural Washington. It is such a beautiful place, even to this day.  There are a lot of more homes and business but it is still a pretty rural place.  

My Mom and her brothers did not get to see their dad very often.  She told me he only visited once in awhile.  How hard that must have been.  When he did come to visit she said he brought a few toys and candy.  Hmmm????  I really don't know what to think of that, but my very first response is-- what a dead-beat dad!!!!  But now that I am older, I realize sometimes that people do what they think might be the best thing at that time in there life unless they are a psychopath or a narcissist.  I want to believe just as my mom and her brothers did that their Dad was doing what he thought best at the time. 

My Mom told me that it was very difficult living with them.  They were strict and poor. They believed in punishment and using switches as a form of punishment. She told me she was hit with a tree switch many times.  How far we have come from that.  But let me tell you how I feel about that.  Actually, I believe in that form of punishment.  The kids these days get away with so much crap.  And most kids control their parents.  The kids who were raised with fear of being punished are extremely respectful.  Anyway, that is my own opinion...  And I know, it is just a damn opinion and it really doesn't matter what I think about stuff like that to most people. But I tell you what---kids who were raised that way have a whole lot of more respect for their elders.  I believe, if I had statistics, it would be 90% of all kids. 

Here are some more photo's of the time frame that my mother grew up in.  This would be the 30's and 40's for the most part.  

As far as I know, this is the only picture I have of my grandpa on my mom's side. I need to go through more photo's but this is the only one I can find right now.  He was 100% Greek. He came to America from Greece like many did back then.  I wish I knew what ship he rode on when he came to America.

I know those are her brothers but the others I do not. Maybe her cousins.

This must be a family reunion.  I can tell in these photos how they must have been extremely hard workers.  I like how the children are holding flowers. 

My Mom actually has on the back of this photo that it is her.  I am glad to see that she was able to have a doll and a carriage for it.

I think by what is wrote on this photo that this is who helped raise my Mom and her brothers.  Grandpa and grandma Giles.

I wish this photo came in a little clearer. I love the dog she is holding and its name-Duke. Cute.. My mom has always loved animals and we always had them. I bet that was a very pretty poke-a-dot dress.  And I am sure her grandmother made all of their clothes.

Well, this is enough for today.  It takes me quite a long time to scan these photos and then save them and then add them to this blog.  Actually, in reality, not that long compared to the old ways of doing things.  I am truly thankful that I can do this at all.  That we have the ability to use this technology for things like this.  It is amazing that we do have all these things to make us get things done faster but for some reason we still never have enough time to get done what we want done.  So weird.... 

So Far From Perfect!

Some days the only thing that gets me through the day is listening to music.  I love listening to music. I like most styles of music.  There are some that I can't stand, like the new Rap, some country, speed metal and the new Pop music.  But for the most part, I like most of it.  My job can be very boring so I listen to music to get me through the day.  

When I listen to some music it brings back memories and gets me thinking about my life.  The lyrics of  some songs move me to very deep thoughts. The thoughts are about how I went through my life, how I handled things, where I have been, where I am going.  Like the quote above," I'm not Perfect but I keep Trying."

Sometimes I think it is very amazing that my sister, brother and me made it alive through our growing up years.  The things that the three of us went through are unbelievable at times.  

This is what happens when I am delivering mail and listening to music, my thoughts go to and fro. They go from my Mom and Dad's life, my growing up years, my life being married, my children and their lives.  My thoughts just bounce around. My head goes crazy with so many thoughts and I can't keep them in order.  I want to write so much, so many things that I have been through and so many things I just don't know about my mom and dad and their lives. 

I want to write about what I am going through now, what is happening in my life and the world, but I can't write it all at once.  I have to go to work, clean, exercise, relax and do other mundane stuff, but I will try the best I can.  Sometimes, I really believe I have ADD, because I am so easily distracted and my thoughts do bounce around from thing to thing.  lol 

    

I found these wonderful pictures of my Mom and the men in her life!  Again, she never told me about the guys she dated, except for one.  And I am not sure if he is in these pictures because there is nothing written down on them. She is so beautiful in these pictures and I wished we had gone through these pictures together.  

The picture of her, Helen and Betty helps me a little. Betty was her cousin and Helen was her best friend, I think.  She has told me a few stories about them.  The picture below that picture is of her and Uncle Bill, her brother.  I wish she had put the dates on these photos. I am so glad I have these photos.

I love this photo of my Mom.  It is such a beautiful photo.  She looks so happy, relaxed and pretty.  I am sure this photo was taken before she married and had us kids.  Has to be!!!  lol   I  wish I knew where it was taken.  I wish it had a date on it.  This is not the Mom I remember.  The Mom I remember was sad, unhappy, disillusioned, hard-working, overwhelmed and very tired.

I am so very, very glad I am going through the stuff I was able to get after her death.  My brother and sister have the rest of her photos and letters, but I am glad I have some of her things.  What little I do have, is helping me to understand her life a little more.  I barely have anything of my Dad's life.  I have some of his things.  But I know very little about my Dad's life and his family.  I have  some memories and photos of him and his family.  My Mom and Dad were divorced when I was five and after that I saw my Dad only a few times till I was in junior high school.   

When I would ask my Mom about her life and what happened she was always somewhat depressed about it.  She seldom talked about the fun. She focused on the negative and the difficulty of living with her cousin and Grandma and Grandpa.  My mother did have it very hard.  She had a difficult upbringing. She lost her Mother at a young age.  Her mother died while giving birth to a sister. Her sister died also. Then her dad (my grandpa who is also Greek)  had to go work on the railroads for a living and her and her four brothers were taken care of by my Mom's, Mom and Dad (Grandparents).  So it was a tragic childhood to me. She told me that she only saw her Dad a very few times after that because he was gone for so many, many days.  And then what happened to her after having us three kids and Linda who died when she was 9 months old made my Mom so unhappy and bitter.

Well, my computer is acting up again.  It is on its last legs and doesn't always work properly.  It has some kind of glitch and I have to hold it just the write way to make it work.  So I am going to have to stop writing for today,  Till next week...  

Missed Opportunities

Miss You Lots Mom!!

My mom passed away 3 years ago and sometimes I find myself getting ready to call her to tell her something that happened in my life and then I realize I can not.  I know she is gone but sometimes it seems like she is still here.  It doesn't seem real that she has left this earth.  I miss her.  She was 84 and up till she turned 80 she was doing pretty well considering all the health problems she had.  

She was living with my sister, Carol, in Spokane, Washington,  My sister and her family helped my Mom out with her health and doctor care and in turn gave my sister help here and there with finances and companionship.  My Mom liked being where family was so that she was not alone.  She would come visit me also.  Those were great times!!! 

After she passed away we went through all the things she left behind.  She had quite a bit of stuff in storage.  My sister knew where it all was but I really didn't see everything she had, but I didn't mind because my sister was the one who took care of my Mom for years and years.  She is the one who went above and beyond -- taking care of my Mom.  Anyway, my sister gave me a few of Mom's things that I love and want to pass on to my kids.  The most amazing things that we did find were letters and photos that we had never seen.  My Mom never shared anything about all of the letters and photos she possessed.  Maybe she did at one time when I was a teenager and I had the attitude of no interest. She had boxes and boxes of letters and photos.  My brother, sister and I went through them and divided them up.  

I am now slowly going through the photos and trying to figure out who is who in these old photos.  I wished I had spent time with my Mom getting her to write down who were in those photos.  Why did I not care back then?  Why was I not interested in my Mom's life?  Why was my Mom not interested in telling me she had all these photos and letters?  Why was my Mom not very talkative about her life?  Why didn't I try to get to know her more?  Why didn't I want to get her to talk more about her life?  My Mom was very reserved in talking about her life. But she was also very negative about her divorce and her growing up years.  She focused on all the negatives about her life, so sometimes I just didn't want her to talk about it.  But now, that I have all these photos and letters, that I never knew existed, I want to know more.  If I had known about this stuff, I would have spent time getting her to write down who was who in the photos. I would have talked to her about her life, her family's life, her adventures, her interests back then, her boyfriends, her school times, everything!.  I missed it!!  I want to know who my Mom's family was, my grandfather, my grandmother and their families. I don't know, my sister and brother don't know.  I missed a great opportunity getting to know about my Mother's family!!  So very sad!!

The only thing I can do now is try to talk to anyone who is still alive that is related to my Mom.  I might be able to send some of the pictures to any relatives living that might now who is in the photos. That will be quite a project.  

Lessons learned in Life----everything is not always as it seems.  Time is fleeting and you might not always be able to do everything you want to----but do what you can with what you have left.  I have some of the photos and letters and my sister and brother have the rest so I can at least try to get to know my Mom better with what I have left.  

My Mom and her cousin Dorothy ( I think).

At least, that is what is written at the bottom. 

Such a cute photo of them holding bunnies.

I do know this is my Uncle Harold and my Uncle Bill with my mom in this photo. I love the bomber hats they are wearing. ( I think that is what they are called)  1930's

This is my grandfather James (not sure right now- he died after I turned a year old) I need to go to some files to find out his name. So sad I can't think of it right at this moment!!! My mom looks to be about 1 year and a half.  Wow---the car behind them.. Cool!

(Right at this moment my laptop is falling apart.  I need to go buy a new computer because mine is about 8 years old.  If I move it at all it will not work.  I have to have it just right or I can not make the mouse work. And then I can not type!!!!! So that is why I can not go find the file of my grandfather's name at this moment--lol)

This is an awesome photo because it has all of my mom's brothers in it!!!  My mom never had a sister.  Her oldest brother is James, then Harold, then Bill and then her.  I think it goes James on the far right, then Harold at the top, then Bill next to my mom and then my cute mom holding the rose.  Love this photo!!!!

I hope that I will keep writing in these blogs every Sunday or more if I have time.  There is so much I want to write about. My mom's life as much as I can with what I have and then on to my childhood. As much as I can remember.  I have a lot of blocks of time that I do not remember.  My mind is blank about a lot of my childhood.  There are years that I do not remember.  I think that is because of stress, moving so much and some trauma that happened during my childhood.  But I will get to that as I write more.  

Life Is Beautiful!!

Where do I begin?

I really do not know where to begin my blogs..  I have so much to write down, but I don't even know where to start.  This year I want to write a little something about my life once a week.  I want to improve my life by doing something that is worth meaning.  I feel like I just have gone through life with no purpose. Just going through the motions.  I know I have accomplished much and done some wonderful things but I have done them with really no guidance or direction whatsoever.  Sure, once in awhile I would read self help books or look to religion or coaches or deep mediation but I was really on my own.

I have two beautiful kids who are in their 30's and my daughter has 3 children of her own.  To me that is quite an accomplishment.  Having a family is important to me.  It is amazing that I was able to raise them and they turned out pretty good.  Especially after the childhood that I went through.

I guess for me the best way to write my blogs is through pictures and words.  I want to write about my whole life and what I remember so that I have this to pass on to my grand-kids and great-grand-kids. I think it is important to know a little something about your family history.  I love to write but I really do have horrible writing skills.  I try hard to keep on task but I ramble and get off track! Sometimes, it may seem that I don't even know the main point I am trying to get across.  lol   I may go to the beginning of my life then jump to the now and vice-versa.  I have the tendency to do that even when I am talking.. Ha Ha...  I hope that whomever is reading this will understand.  It is not going to be this great novel, obviously, just some words written down...

My Mom and Dad

I miss you both so much!!!!!

What a fat, cute little baby!! I'm so glad my mom took a few photos of me.  I was born in California. Really close to the beach.  The day before I was born my mom told me she was out relaxing on the beach and enjoying the sun and the waves. She loved going to the ocean and laying on the beach.  I love that too.  I miss living near the ocean so much!

I love this picture that I just found. I think it is funny that I am making a duck face.  That is so popular right now--(or it was last year-can't keep up with the fads--lol)!!  Here I am doing it back in the early 60's..  

Today is the start of something new for me.  I hope that I will continue to keep up this blog.  That is my goal for this year.  Here goes this little duck-faced girl....